Fish cakes at the chippy

A fish cake in a British chip shop is not a fillet. It is a round: fish mixed with potato, shaped, crumbed or battered, fried. It is cheaper than a cod, milder, and easier for a child who does not want to face a whole piece of fish. It is also the savoury you add when someone already has chips and wants a bit of fish without a second large portion.

Salt & Vinegar in Coulsdon prints fish cake twice. Under savouries it is £3.00, next to jumbo sausage, battered sausage and saveloy. Under kids’ meals it is fish cake and chips at £5.50, next to nuggets, cod bites, sausage and saveloy boxes. Those are not two different cakes. They are the cake alone, or the cake as a set with chips. The photograph is a plated takeaway. It is not this cake.

What you are eating

Chip-shop fish cakes are usually a mix, not a slice of fillet in the middle. Brands differ. This guide has not cut one open at 85 Stoats Nest Road. If you need to know the fish species or whether it contains gluten, ask at the counter. A website that invents a filling list is not helping you.

It is fried, so it belongs with the fryer items, not with the Pukka pies in the warmer. Do not expect pastry. Do expect a crisp outside if it has just come out. A cake that has been sitting will be a different texture. Cooked-to-order, on this shop’s published pitch, is the reason to wait or to phone ahead.

Ordering it

Adults: fish cake, then chips from £3.00 if you want chips as their own line. Children: fish cake and chips at the printed £5.50 box if that is the set you mean. Do not say “the small fish” if you mean the cake; small fish on this board is small cod at £9.50. Phone 020 8660 6990. Monday to Saturday 12:00–21:45, 85 Stoats Nest Rd, CR5 2JJ. Sunday closed.

Mushy peas £2.00 and curry sauce £2.40 still sit on the extras list if you want a pot. Salt and vinegar on the chips. This is an independent guide, not the official shop. Prices move. The till is the live number.

Questions