Two adults and two children is a different sentence from “a large cod”. Write the list before you phone 020 8660 6990: who wants fish, who wants a pie, who wants a kids’ box, how many chips, peas or curry, salt and vinegar yes or no, drinks last. Read it out in that order. The person packing the bags can only fry what they heard.
Kids’ meals on the published board are four nuggets and chips £5.50, four cod bites and chips £6.00, fish cake and chips £5.50, sausage and chips £5.50, or saveloy and chips £5.50. Those already include chips, so do not automatically add another £3.00 portion for each child unless you want extra. A small cod at £9.50 is more fish than those boxes; it is not automatically a children’s price.
Mixing the board
A household rarely wants four identical suppers. One large cod £11.50, one haddock £11.50, a steak and kidney pie £4.00, a kids’ box, chips shared or separate, mushy peas £2.00, curry £2.40, a 1.25 litre bottle at £3.00 instead of four cans. Vegetarian in the same family is a veggie burger at £5.80 or a spicy bean burger at £5.00, or onion rings at £3.50 as a side rather than a meal.
Burgers come with lettuce and onions. A quarter pounder starts at £5.20, a half pounder at £6.80, chicken fillet £6.00. Wings start at £5.00 for six. Those are the lines for the person who does not want battered fish and does not want to argue about it in the doorway.
The photograph is battered sides, not a labelled family bag from this shop. Do not count the pieces in the picture and expect that count at the counter.
Friday versus a Tuesday
On a weekday you can often order at the counter without a wait that kills the evening. On a Friday the same list is better on the phone, with a collection time, because four different items take longer in the fryer than one. Cooked to order means you should not ask them to pack it an hour early and hold it. Turn up when you said.
Pay at the counter. This website does not take the order. Add the prices on the board, not from memory: a “from” on wings or burgers may mean more than one size. If the total matters because you are feeding six, ask before they start frying.
Sunday none of this works, because the shop is closed. Saturday is the last day of the week for a family bag. Address: 85 Stoats Nest Rd, Coulsdon CR5 2JJ. Independent guide, not the official shop site.